How to Be a Good Host (Without the Pre-Party Meltdown)

I love hosting. I really do. Having friends come over so we can have a great time together is a favorite of mine, but learning how to be a good host takes time. I wasn’t a good host for a long time. My biggest offense? I spent too much time running the party.

If you’re lucky, you may be able to accomplish a semi-smooth party for everyone, including yourself. If you’re not, you’re working your tail off trying to keep everything going while not burning the house down!

Over the years, I’ve learned that being a “good host” has very little to do with the complexity of your appetizers and everything to do with the vibe you create.

If you’re looking for ways to make the process a little easier, I’ve got tricks and techniques that take the stress out of hosting.

Don’t Wait Until the Day of Your Party

I know people who plan to host a party or holiday and wait until the day of the event to shop and prepare. Why they do that, I’ll never understand. This leads to stress for you and your guests. You inevitably don’t have enough food, your dishwasher is filled with dishes, and you have little set up done when guests arrive.

Why do that to yourself?

Planning ahead is the number one way to ease the stress of hosting and make it a party that everyone enjoys. Here are my top five tips that will make you feel like hosting is something you want to do instead of something you have to do.

1. The “Do-Ahead” Lists

The secret to a relaxed host is a clear counter and a clear mind. Plan ahead and incorporate time to get everything done before everyone arrives. If you’re still chopping vegetables when the doorbell rings, you will feel the tension and so will your guests.

Here are a few do-aheads that will ease the stress for you:

Know Who Is Coming: Sure, there may be a couple surprise guests, but getting a strong idea of how many people are coming to your party means you will be able to have enough food, drinks, and supplies to make your event great.
The 24-Hour Rule: Use the day before to get a majority of your party preparation done. This includes setting food and drink stations, chilling the beverages, and prepping all possible recipes that can sit in the fridge.
Organize Your Party Zone: Make sure to clear your high-traffic areas and spaces where you want people to drop off coats and purses. Clear all counters, coffee tables, and try to get as many dishes cleaned as you can. It makes the day a breeze!

2. Master the “High-Low” Menu

One of the greatest levers you can pull for your stress is your menu. Don’t believe that you need to make a five-course meal to be an amazing host.

When I first started with hosting parties, I thought I needed to make everything and make everything fancy. Through the years, I’ve learned that isn’t the case.

Yes, your guests love food, but you can still wow them with store-bought shortcuts, assembly type foods, and a nice fancy option put in.

High: One effort dish that you’re proud of or you know your guests will like.
Low: I’ve talked about this enough, I know, but veggie platters, some store bought frozen appetizers, and assembled finger foods can offer your guests an amazing experience while also giving you less overwhelm when making your night special.

Hostess Tip: If you focus on the presentation of the food, you’re going to impress your guests and feel like you’ve got this hostess thing down pat.

Create an Atmosphere

3. Play with the Senses

Before your guests walk in, create the atmosphere you want by focusing on these three things:

Sight: Lighting really plays a significant role in setting the mood. If you want to create a calm atmosphere, dim lights in each room that you want your guests to use. You can also use a candle warmer lamp to create a soft, inviting glow if that’s what your goal is.

If you’re hosting an outdoor party that’ll go into the night, plan ahead. Will you need propane or wood for your fire pit?

Sound: Music is such a part of our lives, of course it’s going to play a role in setting the tone for your party. Do you want a gentle background sound or songs that people will want to sing along to? Creating a playlist beforehand is simple with all of the music streaming services.
Scent: I’m a big scent girl! There is nothing better than walking into a space and loving the way it smells. I love my candle warmer lamp for this. The smell permeates the entire main level. I also love essential oil diffusers!

Greet Your Guests for Success

4. Never Let Your Guests Go Unnoticed

As soon as your guests arrive, your job is to make them feel welcome and comfortable!

Get them comfortable: Take their coat and immediately offer them a drink. Now, they have something to do with their hands and also makes them feel welcome in your home.
Introduce when necessary: If you’re mixing friend groups, try to introduce each person. This is especially important if you have someone flying solo. If you know they have a common interest, bring it up and create an opportunity for them to “hit it off”.

Don’t Forget “Hostess Time”

5. Plan Time for You

Sometimes we plan and plan for the party, and we forget to plan time to get ready! You cannot be a good host if you are exhausted and resentful. That’s not what you want.

Schedule time for you: Give yourself an hour to do your makeup, hydrate, and take a moment before the party starts.
Let go of the Stress: If you have done your best to prepare, you’re ahead of the game, but issues may arise. Maybe you run out of something or a glass breaks; things happen. Move on. A good host makes guests feel like a mess is “no big deal”.

Ultimately, It’s How Guests Feel

Now you’ve learned how to be a good host. Your guests will feel comfortable and have a good time. They will remember if you made them feel welcome, and you were having fun with them.

How to Be a Good Host (Without the Pre-Party Meltdown)